How To Plan Your Elopement Ceremony
Eloping isn’t about following rules. It’s about making your own rules—choosing your own path, doing what feels right, and creating a moment that’s yours and yours alone. That includes your ceremony.
For some couples, that means a legally binding wedding on their elopement day. For others, it’s a commitment ceremony, where the words they exchange mean everything, even if there’s no paperwork involved. And some—like me and my husband, Scott—choose to do both in a way that feels a little unconventional. We actually got legally married at a Starbucks on April 1st (yes, April Fools’ Day). We hired an officiant to meet us there, grabbed two random people to be our witnesses, signed the papers, and that was that. No fancy setup, no long speeches—just a simple, almost secret little moment that made us officially husband and wife.
But our real wedding? That happened months later, on September 20th, during our elopement. That was the day we spoke the words that truly mattered. It was just us, our officiant, and our photographer—out in nature, in a place that felt sacred to us. That was the day we felt married. And every year, we get to celebrate two anniversaries—April 1st, our secret “legal-versary” and September 20th, our wedding day.
That experience taught me something: your ceremony is whatever you make it. It doesn’t have to follow tradition. It doesn’t have to happen in a certain order. And it doesn’t have to be legal to be real. What matters is that it feels right to you.
That’s why I approach elopements the way I do—helping couples craft a ceremony that’s intentional, personal, and filled with meaning. Whether you want me to officiate part of it, or you want to lead your own vows in a completely DIY ceremony, I’m here to support you. Not just as a photographer, but as someone who gets it.
So if you’re wondering how to structure your ceremony, how to make it feel natural, or how to honor this moment in a way that’s yours—this guide is here to help. Because the only rule is this: it should feel like you.
Benefits to a “just us” elopement ceremony
Eloping is a beautiful journey that begins with the decision to celebrate your love in the most intimate of settings. Imagine a day designed solely around you and your partner, free from the constraints of traditional ceremonies. It’s about crafting a moment that truly reflects your relationship, set against a backdrop that speaks to your hearts. Whether atop a mountain, beside a serene lake, or in a bustling city that holds special meaning, the location becomes a sacred space for your vows.
On your wedding day, the last thing you want is to feel like you’re going through the motions. And there’s no need to worry about saying your vows in front of an audience or offending anyone. So go ahead and make your ceremony exactly what you’ve always dreamed of. It’s your day, after all!
Choosing a ‘just us’ elopement is all about celebrating your love your way. It’s simple, intimate, and totally personal. But if you find that eloping with just the two of you isn’t quite your fit, and you envision eloping with family, that’s perfectly okay too. Your elopement should reflect your desires and dreams, allowing you to tailor the day to fit exactly what you want, whether it’s a party of two or a small gathering of those closest to you.
Legal vs. Symbolic: What Are Your Ceremony Options?
There’s no one way to get married. Some couples want everything—the legal vows, the paperwork, the official pronouncement—all in one seamless moment. Others want something more personal—a ceremony that’s purely about them—saving the legal part for another time. Some want a friend or family member to be involved, while others want to speak their vows in complete privacy.
All of these are valid. Because at the end of the day, what makes a wedding real isn’t a piece of paper. It’s the way it feels.
Option 1: Hiring an Officiant
Some couples feel most comfortable with a professional officiant leading their ceremony—someone experienced, who knows how to create a seamless, flowing moment. There’s comfort in having someone take the reins, someone who knows when to pause, when to step back, when to bring everyone into the moment. It takes the pressure off, allowing you to just be.
Having an officiant can also make things easier logistically. They handle the legal parts. They make sure the paperwork is done. They provide structure if you don’t know where to start.
But elopements aren’t like traditional weddings. If you’re planning to say your vows deep in the woods, on top of a mountain, or in a secluded place by the water, you may struggle to find an officiant willing to travel that far. Even if you do, you might find that a traditional officiant-led ceremony feels… not quite right.
You’re not standing in a chapel. You don’t have rows of guests watching. This moment is just for you two. Maybe you don’t want someone standing between you, guiding every word. Maybe you want something softer, quieter, more natural.
That’s why some couples choose to bring the legal part into their own hands.
Option 2: A Friend or Family Member as Your Officiant
For some, the thought of having a stranger officiate feels distant. They want someone they love—someone who’s been part of their journey—to be the one standing there with them, guiding them into this next chapter.
Maybe it’s a sibling who has always been their biggest supporter. A best friend who knows them better than anyone else. A parent who has walked them through life’s hardest and best moments. Someone who can stand in front of them, not just as an officiant, but as someone who loves them deeply.
In many states, a friend or family member can become ordained online and legally marry you. If they’re comfortable leading the ceremony, this can make the moment feel incredibly personal. But if they’d rather not take on the full responsibility, there’s another option—they can lead the ceremony while I handle the legal parts and paperwork.
That way, they can focus on speaking from the heart, being fully present, and creating a moment that feels truly intimate—without worrying about logistics. And you get the best of both worlds: a ceremony led by someone who loves you, and the peace of mind that everything is legally taken care of.
Option 3: Me as Your Officiant (With a Unique Approach)
If you want to make it official on your elopement day but still keep the moment deeply personal, I can be your officiant—but in a way that allows me to still document every moment.
Elopements are different from traditional weddings. They are quieter, slower, more immersive. They aren’t about standing in front of someone and repeating words. They are about being in the moment—fully, deeply.
That’s why my approach is different. I can’t officiate the entire ceremony while also photographing it, so instead, I step in when it matters most.
I start the ceremony, standing behind you, welcoming you into this moment, grounding you in the significance of what you’re about to do. Then I step away.
This is where the real magic happens. You take over. You speak your vows to each other, without interruption, without someone leading you through every word. You exchange rings, or hold hands, or laugh, or cry, or just exist in the moment together.
And when you’re ready, I step back in, say the closing words, and pronounce you officially married.
It’s a balance between presence and documentation—ensuring your ceremony is fully experienced and fully remembered.
For couples who want to be legally married on their elopement day but don’t want a traditional officiant-led ceremony, this is a perfect way to make it happen—without taking away from the intimacy of the moment.
Option 4: Legalizing It Separately, Then Doing a DIY Ceremony
Some couples don’t want to think about legalities on their elopement day at all. They don’t want to carry around paperwork, don’t want to figure out officiant logistics, don’t want to think about anything except each other.
For them, the best option is to separate the legal part from the emotional part.
Maybe they visit a courthouse a few days before, sign the papers, and then head out into the wilderness for their real ceremony. Maybe they meet with an officiant in the morning for a quick, simple legal signing, then hike to the place where they’ll speak the words that truly matter. Maybe they get legally married months before and their elopement day is simply a celebration—just the two of them, standing together, making their vows under an open sky.
When Scott and I eloped, this was exactly what we did. Our legal marriage happened on April 1st, inside a Starbucks, with two random strangers as our witnesses. It was quick, easy, and almost funny—like a little secret we get to keep. But our real wedding? That happened months later, in September, in a quiet place with just us, our officiant, and our photographer. That was the moment we felt married. That was the moment we made the promises that mattered.
If you choose this option, your ceremony can be completely DIY—just the two of you, alone, speaking your vows in the most private and sacred way possible. Or, if you still want a little guidance, I (or one of your guests) can open and close it for you—helping set the tone before stepping away so you can exchange vows in privacy.
Because at the end of the day, the legal part? That’s just paperwork.
The real marriage happens in the moments in between.
The way you look at each other as you speak your vows. The way you laugh when you forget what you were going to say. The way your hands tremble just a little as you slip rings onto each other’s fingers.
That’s what makes this real.
So whether you choose to hire an officiant, ask a friend, have me guide the moment, or simply step into your vows together, the only thing that matters is this—it should feel like you.
How to Craft Your Own Wedding ceremony
If you’re planning a DIY elopement ceremony, you can use the following prompts to help you craft it. While a traditional wedding ceremony includes saying vows, exchanging rings, and being pronounced as a married couple, you can go bananas and create your own DIY elopement ceremony that is special and unique to you as a couple!
This is your chance to personalize your ceremony and express your love and commitment for one another. Here are some ideas for creating your own elopement ceremony. I recommend writing everything down that you plan, and then you can preserve it in a folder or binder as a wedding keepsake!
1. Decide on Your Ceremony Outline
Every ceremony has a rhythm—a beginning, a middle, an end. Some are simple, quiet, and effortless. Others have layers—rituals, readings, symbols woven in like threads in a tapestry.
There’s no one way to do this. No single formula for what makes a ceremony feel right. But most follow a natural flow—a gentle unfolding from one moment to the next.
Think of this as a guide, not a rulebook. A starting point for shaping a ceremony that feels like you.
An Example Ceremony Outline
1️⃣ Setting the Ceremony Space – Choose a meaningful location. Take a breath. Stand together and feel the weight of the moment. Some couples create a sacred space—marking a circle, calling the elements, or clearing the energy with smoke or sound.
2️⃣ Opening the Ceremony – A welcome, an acknowledgment, an intention. Someone may say a few words, or you might just look at each other, knowing everything is about to change.
3️⃣ Reading Your Vows – The heart of the ceremony. Whether written or spoken from the heart, this is where you make your promises. Need help? How to Write Your Wedding Vows.
4️⃣ Adding Personal Touches – A poem, a reading, a moment of silence. A way to honor loved ones, acknowledge your journey, or make space for something sacred.
5️⃣ Unity Ceremony (Optional) – Handfasting, tree planting, blending whiskey or wine, lighting a candle—something symbolic to mark this moment in a physical way.
6️⃣ Exchange of Rings – If you’re including rings, this is when you do it. Say traditional words, or your own. Or maybe you skip this part entirely.
7️⃣ Closing the Ceremony – Final words to seal the moment. A pronouncement, a blessing, or a quiet breath before stepping forward into what’s next.
8️⃣ Celebration – A kiss, a hug, a deep exhale. Maybe you dance. Maybe you run off laughing. However you choose to end, this is your first moment married—make it yours.
1. Setting the Ceremony Space
Before the words, before the vows, before anything officially begins—there’s the space.
The space you step into together. The place where you pause, take a breath, and feel the shift—this is the moment. This is where everything changes.
Your ceremony space can be as simple or as intentional as you want it to be. Maybe you stand exactly as the land is—just the two of you, with nature as it is, unmarked and untouched. Or maybe you create something more defined—a circle of stones, a small altar, a single candle flickering in the wind. Some couples choose to wait until the day of their elopement to pick the exact spot, walking together until they reach a place that just feels right. Others step into a space they’ve imagined for months.
No matter how you do it, this is the transition—the shift from before to after. The space where your vows will live.
Creating a Sacred Space
Some couples like to physically mark their space—laying down a blanket or rug, setting up an altar, arranging small objects that hold meaning. Others prefer to leave things as they are, letting the natural surroundings be all they need.
If you want to bring a bit of ritual or symbolism into the space, here are some ideas:
- Consecrate the space – Take a moment before stepping in to acknowledge that this is where your vows will live.
- Clear the energy – Use sound (a chime, a singing bowl, even clapping hands) or smoke (ethically sourced herbs, incense, or simply a deep breath) to set the tone.
- Mark a circle – Define your ceremony space with stones, flowers, a blanket, or even a simple line drawn in the dirt or snow.
- Acknowledge the elements – Bring in earth, air, fire, and water in a way that feels natural—holding a stone, lighting a candle, offering a quiet word of gratitude.
- Set an altar – This could be anything—a small collection of meaningful objects, rings, a photo, something passed down in your family.
- Pause before beginning – Stand together, take a breath, let the moment settle before stepping into it.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just intentional. The important thing is that it feels like yours.
The Moment Before Everything Begins
No matter how you set your space, there’s always a moment just before the ceremony starts—a brief pause where the air feels different.
Some couples take this time to look at each other, center themselves, or exchange a small gesture—a squeeze of the hand, a deep breath, a quiet smile. Others shake off the nerves, laugh, or adjust their footing, taking in their surroundings one last time before stepping forward. Take it however it comes. No need to force it—just step into it in a way that feels right.
2. Opening the Ceremony
The first words spoken in a ceremony set the energy of the moment. They create the transition—the shift from standing together as you always have, to stepping into something new. Some couples want an official opening, something spoken aloud to acknowledge the weight of what’s happening. Others prefer to keep it simple, letting the moment speak for itself.
There’s no right or wrong way to begin. But here are a few ways to start your ceremony with meaning and intention.
Ways to Open Your Ceremony
- A Simple Acknowledgment – Something short, something natural, just enough to mark the beginning:
- “We stand here today, in this beautiful location, to unite in marriage.“
- “Right now, nothing else matters except this moment.”
- An Intentional Pause – No words at all. Just a deep breath. A quiet moment. A way to fully step into the experience before speaking.
- A Personal Reflection – A few sentences about what this day means, why you chose to elope, or how you feel standing here together.
- A Welcome from Someone Else – If you have a guest or an officiant leading, they might open the ceremony with a few grounding words:
- “We gather here today in the beauty of this place to witness the joining of two souls.”
- “Love has brought us here today—into the wild, into the unknown, into a moment that belongs only to you.”
- A Nature or Spiritual Connection – Acknowledging the space around you, the land, the elements, or the journey that brought you here:
- “The wind carries our vows into the world. The earth beneath us holds your promises steady. The sky above reminds us that love has no limits.”
- “May this place hold the words you speak today, and may you always carry them with you.”
Some couples write their own opening words. Some speak from the heart, letting the moment guide them. Some don’t say anything at all, simply stepping forward, taking each other’s hands, and beginning. No matter how you open your ceremony, the meaning isn’t in the words themselves—it’s in the feeling behind them.
Next, we’ll dive into the heart of your ceremony—your vows.
3. Reading your vows
This is the moment everything leads up to. The part that makes a ceremony a ceremony. The promises you make, the words you choose, the way you look at each other as you say them.
Some couples keep their vows short and simple—a few heartfelt sentences that say everything. Others pour their souls into them, writing words that hold the weight of their entire journey together. Some speak from memory, others read from vow books.
There is no right way—only your way.
Writing Your Own Vows
If you’re writing your own vows, you might be wondering where do I even start? It’s normal to feel that way. Vows aren’t just words—they’re a reflection of your love, your relationship, your commitment to each other.
I have a full guide to help you craft meaningful, personal vows: How to Write Your Wedding Vows, but here are a few key things to think about as you write:
- Speak to your partner, not an audience. Your vows don’t have to be poetic or perfect—just real.
- Keep them at a length that feels right. Short and sweet, or longer and more detailed—both are valid.
- Be specific. Mention little things you love, small moments that have shaped your journey.
- Make promises, not just statements. Vows aren’t just about why you love them, but how you’ll love them in the years to come.
- Write them down. Even if you plan to speak from the heart, having them on paper (or in a vow book) can help with nerves.
Personal Vow Books: A Meaningful Keepsake
Having a dedicated vow book can make the moment feel even more special—and give you something meaningful to keep for years to come.
Rather than reading from a crumpled piece of paper or a phone screen, you can write your vows in a beautifully crafted book. These vow books can be simple or personalized, with leather or linen covers, hand-stitched details, or custom engraving.
Here are a few places to find vow books you’ll want to keep forever:
- Luna Paper Co. – Elegant, minimalist vow books with timeless designs.
- Ox & Pine – Handcrafted leather vow books that feel classic and timeless.
- Etsy – A variety of customizable vow books, from rustic to modern styles.
Vow books aren’t just for the ceremony—they can hold the words that mark the beginning of your marriage, something to revisit years later, a reminder of the promises you made.
Examples of Personal Vows
Here are a few simple examples of what personal vows could sound like:
- “I promise to love you in all seasons, through every adventure and every unknown. To stand by you when things are easy and when they’re hard. To always choose you.”
- “I vow to love you as you are today, and as you grow into who you’ll be tomorrow. To support your dreams, celebrate your wins, and remind you of your strength when you forget it yourself.”
- “I promise to keep making you laugh, even when we’re old and grumpy. To always make space for your wild ideas. To be your greatest adventure and your safest home.”
Silent or Unspoken Vows
Some couples prefer to exchange written vows privately before or after the ceremony, reading them in their own time. Others hold hands, look at each other, and simply take in the moment—letting everything be understood without words. If you want to do this, I recommend talking it over with your partner first and make sure they’re on the same page.
However you do this, your vows are yours. They don’t have to sound like anyone else’s. They don’t have to be long, or formal, or rehearsed. They only have to be true.
Next, we’ll explore ways to add personal touches to your ceremony—readings, rituals, and moments that make it even more you.
4. Adding Personal Touches
This is an opportunity to add personal touches that will make your wedding ceremony even more memorable. It can be as simple or as layered as you want—short and sweet, or filled with meaningful elements that reflect your story. Some couples keep things minimal, letting their vows and the setting speak for themselves. Others weave in small rituals, readings, or personal touches to make the ceremony even more intentional.
Ways to Personalize Your Ceremony
There are endless ways to bring more meaning into your ceremony. Here are a few ideas, but you can explore even more here:
👉 Personalize Your Elopement
- Readings & Quotes – A favorite poem, a passage from a book you love, or even song lyrics that hold meaning in your relationship.
- Honoring Loved Ones – Carrying a small token, mentioning their names, or taking a quiet moment of remembrance for those who are no longer here.
- Handwritten Letters – Writing a letter to each other and reading them during the ceremony or exchanging them privately before or after.
- Music – Playing a meaningful song.
Your ceremony is about you—there’s no wrong way to do this.
Spiritual & Magical Elements for Your Ceremony
For couples who feel drawn to spiritual, mystical, or nature-based traditions, there are so many ways to bring that energy into your ceremony. Whether it’s calling in the elements, setting an intention, or performing a small ritual, these moments can make your vows feel even more powerful.
👉 Looking for spiritual or magical ceremony ideas? Explore Spiritual & Magical Ideas for a Non-Traditional Elopement Ceremony.
A few ideas from that guide:
- Calling in the Elements – Acknowledging earth, air, fire, and water as part of your vows.
- Energy Clearing Before the Ceremony – Using ethically sourced smoke, sound, or crystals to shift the energy of your space.
- Moon or Sun Rituals – Timing your ceremony with the moon phases or sunrise/sunset to align with the energy of the moment.
- Offering to Nature – Leaving an offering (flowers, water, herbs) as a way to give thanks to the land you’re standing on.
- Writing Intentions & Releasing Them – Writing down intentions or fears and burning, burying, or releasing them into the wind or water.
If you’re drawn to magic, spirituality, or natural symbolism, these small rituals can bring a sense of connection and deeper meaning to your ceremony.
5. Unity Ceremony (Optional)
A unity ceremony is a symbolic act that represents your connection and joining together as one. It’s not necessary, but for some couples, it adds a beautiful moment of intention and meaning to the day. Here are a few unity ceremony ideas:
- Handfasting – Wrapping a ribbon or cord around your hands as a symbol of unity. Literally “tying the knot”.
- Tree Planting – Planting a tree or another living thing together, symbolizing your growing relationship.
- Whiskey or Wine Blending – Pouring two drinks into one glass and sharing a sip—a fun way to symbolize two lives becoming one.
- Fire or Candle Ceremony – Lighting a flame together as a representation of love and commitment.
- Rock or Sand Ceremony – Gathering stones or pouring sand together into a single container, representing the blending of your lives.
Some couples also come up with completely unique rituals—things that are meaningful to them personally. Like this couple who cut and shared a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Next, we’ll move into Exchanging Rings (If You’re Including Them)—the final commitment before closing your ceremony.
6. Exchange of rings
The exchange of rings is one of the most well-known wedding traditions—but that doesn’t mean you have to include it. Some couples love the symbolism of wearing a physical reminder of their vows, while others choose something different or skip this entirely.
If you are including rings in your ceremony, this moment can be as simple or as personal as you want it to be.
The Meaning Behind the Rings
Wedding rings traditionally symbolize eternity—a circle with no end, representing a love that lasts forever. But beyond that, rings are a daily reminder of your commitment, something you carry with you wherever life takes you.
What to Say While Exchanging Rings
Some couples prefer classic, traditional wording, while others speak from the heart. Here are a few options:
- “With this ring, I give you my love, my devotion, and my promise to stand by your side always.”
- “This ring is a symbol of my love for you—without end, without limits, for all our days ahead.”
- “As I place this ring on your finger, I vow to love you in every season, through every adventure, in every way I know how.”
- “Let this ring be a reminder of this moment, this promise, and the love we share today and always.”
Or, if you prefer, you don’t have to say anything at all—just a quiet moment, a meaningful look, or a simple exchange without words.
Alternatives to Wedding Rings
Not everyone wears rings, and that’s completely okay. Some couples choose alternative symbols of their vows—something meaningful they can carry with them instead.
- Bracelets or Necklaces – A wearable alternative that holds the same sentimental value.
- Tattooed Rings – A permanent and deeply personal symbol of commitment.
- A Special Object – Exchanging something that represents your story (a stone, a coin, a meaningful keepsake).
- Handfasting Instead of Rings – If you’re doing a handfasting ritual, the binding itself can be your symbol of unity.
Whatever you choose, the meaning comes from the moment itself, not the object.
7. Closing the ceremony
This is it—the final words, the last deep breath before you step forward into whatever comes next. There’s no right or wrong way to end your ceremony. Just what feels right to you.
There’s no single way to close your ceremony—just what feels right for you. Whether you’re having an officiant, a guest leading, or doing it entirely on your own, here are some ideas to mark the moment and step into your next chapter together.
Say a Closing Statement
- “From this day forward, we walk together—not as two, but as one. Bound by love, strengthened by laughter, and endlessly grateful for this life we share.”
- “With the words we’ve spoken and the promises we’ve made, we step forward into the rest of our lives together—partners, best friends, and now, officially married.”
- “As the earth holds us steady, the wind carries our words, and the sky stretches endlessly before us, we step into this new chapter together—bound by love, adventure, and the promises we’ve made today.”
- “From this moment on, we walk forward together—not just as individuals, but as partners in life, in love, and in every adventure ahead.”
- “And with that, we are officially, and forever, married. Now let’s go celebrate this incredible day!”
- “With open hearts and a shared future ahead, [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] have spoken their vows, exchanged their rings, and made their promises. Let this moment mark the beginning of a lifetime of love, adventure, and unwavering partnership. And with that—I now pronounce you married!”
- “By the love you share and the promises you have made here today, it is my honor to pronounce you married!”
The Kiss (Or Something Else Entirely)
The traditional ending to a wedding ceremony is the kiss, but there’s no rule saying you have to do that. Some couples:
- Hug and take a moment to soak it in.
- Do something fun—do a shot, high-five, or dance away together.
However you end your ceremony, it should feel like you.
What to do right after your elopement ceremony
Right after your elopement ceremony ends, you’ll likely be feeling the high! You might want to consider doing a little gesture of celebration before you transition to the next part of your elopement day. Perhaps you’ll want to share a piece of cake, do a shot together, or do a toast with some bubbly. Or maybe you’ll want to do a first dance!
Whatever you do, take a moment to savor this special time. You’ve just taken a big step, and you deserve to celebrate! After all, this is your elopement day, and you can do whatever you want! So go ahead and let loose – you’re on your way to married bliss!
Discover More articles:
Hi! I’m Andrea!
Photographer, storyteller, nature lover
Lume Photography is a creative Michigan elopement photographer & planner based in the Upper Peninsula. Behind the camera, you’ll find me (Andrea) photographer, forager, paranormal enthusiast. My passion is helping free-spirited couples craft their dream wedding in nature, and documenting the moments, emotions, and story in amazing photos. READ MORE ABOUT ME